Cellulite and me

I’m in a committed relationship with cellulite. The bad news? There is no amount of products, treatments, eating, not eating that I can do to get rid of it once and for all (cellulite is not a condition, it’s an aspect: it’s created by fat cells pressing against the connective tissue, making your skin dimple, in fact the thinner your skin the more it is likely to appear, it would seem). The good news? I’m not alone: everyone has fat cells (although it’s true some have fuller ones than others…) so more than 90% of women have cellulite, which also means cellulite busting is a market with millions of opportunities, and if noone has found the miracle cure yet it might be because there simply isn’t one. The better news? Usually most of us have no time to address this in a systematic manner, but this little pesky thing called the CoVid19 lockdown is giving us all a chance to spend more time bonding with our energetic children, our anxious thoughts, and, you guessed it, our beautiful, if a bit jiggly, thighs. And I’m going to give it a try for the next thirty days, by tweaking things a bit in my routine, just to see if I can improve things before the holidays (which we’ll most likely spend at home, at this rate, but we never know).

If you’ve read point one in the first paragraph of this by now quite lengthy post (which of my posts isn’t), you understand that whilst you can’t get rid of it completely, you can work towards minimizing its appearance, camouflage it basically, by following a few tips. Disclaimer: usually I get a weekly treatment of Endermologie or VelaShape, and the key for either is to be super consistent as they help with the appearance of cellulite, but at the moment that’s not an option hence my home-based experiment…

Tip One – Eat healthy and drink plenty

Ok, talk about obvious. Also talk about very difficult to implement in the current set-up when there is always some kind of baking going on and having bubbly everyday seems to be the perfect solution at the end of my daily video call marathons. Still, I do notice my cellulite less when I focus on fiber and whole grain foods, and drink loads of water, as they flush the toxins out of the system and dehydrated, thinner, skin makes anything appear worse. Lockdown diet notwithstanding, I’m much better about drinking my requisite eight glasses of water each day, and I have a pot of Moroccan mint tea each afternoon, that has to count for something.

Tip Two – Sweat it out

Like I said, no exercise will remove cellulite, but any work-out will help with blood flow to your skin (yes, you also get that tomato face as a result) so most will be great to help with the dimples, especially anything cardio. Although there is also a couple of poses in Hot Yoga which are also amazing for circulation. Good that I’m already doing all of that. Next?

Tip Three – Body brushing

Very topically, my girlfriends and I had a debate about this recently (on WhatsApp, where else do you people manage to debate with anyone at the moment?). To body brush or not to body brush. I believe in dry brushing every morning before shower is almost like getting a lymphatic drainage, and since none of us is getting one of those anytime soon, this is as good as. I use that in addition to a strong scrub every couple of days, again to keep everything smooth but because I love the texture of a salt scrub: in fact mixing a good salt scrub with a bit of coffee spikes it up a little and makes skin a little plumper on the out.

Tip Four – Birch oil

We don’t all have access to a good herbalist these days but if you can get your hands on birch oil, use that after washing, ideally with one of those massage roller things. Day one, you won’t see a difference except your arms will be a little sore. Day seven, your arms will be firmer and your skin will be rosy. Day fourteen, I think you’ll agree the dimples are less visible…

Of course, if all else fails, there is a little trick for swimsuit pictures I thought I’d share right away: cellulite totally disappears if you tilt your hips backwards or sideways a little (stretching the skin basically) whereas it’s very much in your face if you squeeze your butt. Anyways I’ll let you all know how I get on in about a month, in fact if this goes well I might even post a cheeky picture on my Insta, how about that.

With love, S.

A day at the spa: Harrods Hammam

Right now, I’m very far from Harrods, London, or indeed a Moroccan Hammam experience, although a day here would be exactly what my body and mind need right now: I woke up missing home, missing the sounds of Moroccan streets (the mint and egg hawkers can be heard from the top of the road, way before they reach our house), missing home flavours… The best I can do right now is drink some mint tea and dream about being able to fly to London and going back to the Moroccan Spa at Harrods, a.k.a the Hammam.

Compared to many so-called oriental spas in London, this is the only place where you can enjoy a truly authentic Moroccan hammam treatment. This feels like home, although it is undoubtedly a far more luxurious affair than the neighbourhood public baths I would visit as a child with the Dadas, although even back then I would go more for the experience than to get me cleaned: this may come as a surprise to some who don’t know Morocco, but we do have bathrooms in most of our houses, have had for quite a few decades now… but we still love like spending an afternoon at the public baths for the gossip, the amazing scrub, and the cakes and tea afterwards.

From the velvet-clad changing rooms to the marble-decked wet rooms, everything here screams luxe, but in a beautiful, almost understated way (don’t get me wrong: this isn’t an Asian spa where pure lines dominate, by any means… Moroccan luxe calls for embellishments, and there are copper taps and velvet sofas everywhere, but it is all done with taste and refinement, very far from the faux oriental places you find elsewhere). The marble lattice dividing the various open wet areas creates privacy spaces that you can get your treatment in whilst still chatting happily with your friends on the other side of the lattice: this is quite handy considering you spend most of the treatment in the smallest knickers I’ve ever seen…

The treatment is 100% traditional… As soon as you are robed in the fluffiest cotton gowns, you move into the warm resting room, where you get used to the temperature whilst chatting happily away. Then you are guided to the wet room, much hotter, where a kessala will bathe you from top to bottom; this is definitely not the place to be shy, you are stark naked sitting in a big empty marble room, the kessala and you are going to be close after this. First, you are slathered with black olive oil soap, which smells divine by the way, this isn’t the cheap low concentration version… The soap is left on your skin to steam through a little while, before it is brushed away with a kessa glove, exfoliating the dead skin away into what looks suspiciously like grey vermicelli, until your whole skin is left super soft and gleaming (and slightly pink from all that brushing, but that’s a temporary effect…!). The kessala also washes your hair with almond shampoo, stretches your limbs rather energetically, making you feel somewhat like a ragdoll, before rinsing you off with buckets of warm water.

All rinsed and back in your gown, you are ready for the relaxation room (home of the super plush velvet sofas), for tea, dried fruits, nuts and more chit chat, and if you feel like prolonging the experience a little, a facial or a massage. I had a massage here the last time I visited, it was absolutely blissful and I left feeling totally relaxed and ready for a quiet evening. Right now, this is exactly how I would dream of spending Saturday afternoon… hopefully soon.

With love, S.